Love is a kind of chemical reaction, so you could never tell why it happens and you could never try to stop it by your own will. Love must have existed a long time before human beings developed language.
People always want to find a definite answer about what is love, so they keep asking each other and themselves. However, there is no person who can define what love is. Every person has his or her own understanding about love, and a single person’s understanding about love may differ by time.
Love is a general feeling of deep caring that does not change (although the form of expressing it may alter). I do not believe that we can force ourselves to love or not to love someone. We have the capacity to love many people. For example, you can love your children, parents, friends, and ex-spouse.
Being “in love” with someone means that you feel a deep caring, you desire them sexually, and you want to spend lots of time with them. If you truly love them, then you may change the latter two but you will always feel the deep caring.
On the contrary, like is specific and changeable. Have you noticed that there are things that you liked in a person before but do not anymore, or vice versa? You can experience both love and like simultaneously since they are different feelings.
It is important to be able to say to someone, “I love you, and I don’t like what you are doing (be specific).” This is especially important to children so that they do not get the wrong impression when you are angry. They need a clear message that you love them (then they can feel lovable), and you do not like their behavior (then explain why).
Also, telling your children or anyone else, “If you loved me you would ____.,” is not love. It is a way of trying to manipulate or to control them because of your fears or concerns.
I have discovered that we all want to be loved, and to love. That is, we all desire to be deeply cared about and to care about others. True love is unconditional. No matter what you or another person says or does, express your love and then deal with the specific disliked behavior.
What the world needs now is lots of love which is the opposite of fear. Accept your and others’ differences. Take the time to love yourself and others unconditionally, spread deep caring-that is the key to loving relationships and to a loving world.
There are certain characteristics we show when we are in love. Selfless behavior shows that you are not just thinking about yourself, but that you’re also concerned about your partners needs as well. You will be concerned about your partner’s growth in life, and become more supportive and understanding, even if you feel like being critical. You will have a desire to forgive, and realize that no one is perfect in life.
Your love grows when you are able to focus on the good things about someone. You will see both the positive and the negative side of someone, but you will love them no matter what. When your partner does that little thing that irritates you, it will be easier to look past it. You will realize that it’s not worth getting angry over, and causing a scene. Love allows for anger, but in a controlled manner. Love is about being able to compromise. If emotional pain was caused you’re allowed to let your partner know when they have done wrong.
Love is about caring and showing affection and intimacy towards the other person. You will have a romantic desire towards your partner, not a lustful desire. With a romantic desire to be intimate and affectionate towards your partner, an emotional bond will grow between the two of you. It will become stronger overtime and will bring you closer together.
What Does It Feels Like To Be In Love:-
Love is built on mutual interest, care, trust, and respect. You will have a desire to be committed to your partner in any type of situation, such as one where infidelity may be a temptation. Or even when faced with negative comments from others about your partner.
Your commitment will allow you to be faithful and true to your partner, and you will be willing to stick up for them at all costs.
It is important to realize that love is about expecting to give, not expecting to get. You don’t have to buy your partner something nice every day, but you can do nice things for them often. Something as simple as a romantic dinner at home. Give them a massage with candles lit around the room. The desire to give will make you feel great about yourself, and most importantly make your partner feel great. A relationship grows successfully when both partners commit to behaving in a loving manner, through continual and unconditional giving. Not only saying “I love you” but also showing it. We experience love as a feeling, and express it as an action.
The thing that ultimately maintains our love and happiness in life is the energy that we get from inside ourselves. Deep inside us is a wellspring of energy that is very strong in some people but very weak in others. Without that wellspring of energy, you may find it hard to continue on in the face of many problems and challenges in your life. You may get discouraged or hurt very easily and find that you no longer feel the same way about your loved one that you initially felt. Your first impulses of love may fade and your happiness may begin to wane.
A lot of things can aggravate the negative feelings that we have inside ourselves and we may think that the person we love is “no longer the same” or “doesn’t care about us anymore”. You may begin to feel that everything is hopeless and fail to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Something has gone wrong and you don’t know what it is. The problem that has befallen you is that you never found that wellspring inside of yourself but wrongly imagined it to be coming from someone else. You were happy for a while but you didn’t really know why. Those feelings of love and happiness weren’t coming from the other person! You thought they were but, actually, they were coming from inside of you! It’s true! They were coming from inside of you! Once that person begins to appear commonplace and boring, the feeling you had begins to fade. You no longer feel the great feelings of love that were actually coming from inside of you to start with. You decided to turn them off. Instead, you covered them up again and all you felt was a sense of darkness.
Real happiness comes from a heart that is so filled with genuine love that nothing on the outside can really affect it in any lasting way. There are rare people who have practiced many techniques and teachings and learned to overcome their fears and their negative emotions to find a wellspring of energy inside them which is the real place that love and happiness come from. If you are feeling discouraged or in need of an answer, look inside yourself for that wellspring and learn to face your fears and your challenges each day so that, over time, you will overcome the many problems that face you each and that face each and every one of us in life. Life is a long road with many challenges and the winners learn to lift up their heads and go on even in the hardest of times. Love and happiness are what make this world worthwhile, so let’s keep our head up and learn to be the person in charge of our own destiny. We are truly the ones who are in charge and we can make it an award winning movie that everyone will pay to see!
Falling In Love
Two people who genuinely loves each other may fall in love because of the burning desire and passion to be with each other or to live close to each other. Finding love is a tricky sentiment. There are some things that feel like love, but they are too much exterior to be the real thing. “Real love takes time and doesn’t take place over night”.
Love is never logical or easy. People fall under the spell of love for many reasons. Opposites can attract, and while it may seem unusual to the outside world, you can be completely wrapped up and oblivious. When you find love it can make anything seem potential and possible to do.
Deep within us there seems an emptiness that not even a hundred lovers could fill, yet there still is an expectation. Your dreams can come true. True love is so precious and valuable that it is said, “True love is not something that comes every day, follow your heart, it knows the right answer”.
True love can take time to grow, or it can evolve in the pair’s first encounter. When 2 hearts gather for the first time a lot of magical things can happen. There are stories of an eye-to-eye spark, this is when you are overcome with excitement by just looking at someone across a room, and this also can evolve into true love.
There are two kinds of sparks, the one that goes off with a hitch like a match, but it burns quickly. The other is the kind that needs time, but when the flame strikes… it’s eternal, don’t forget that. After first sight the two people will ultimately have to talk to each other. If you don’t feel that certain spark it’s probably not meant to be.
Most couples who have spent a significant amount of time building their relationship with each other eventually fall in love. It’s a natural evolution of their bond. But, it’s also an indefinable stage that is often difficult to identify. Millions have asked themselves, “Am I in love with my partner?” Some are confused by what that means. Others misinterpret harmful emotions (for example, jealousy and obsession) as love.
Understanding The True Nature Of Love:-
Often it’s easier to define love based upon what it isn’t. A lot of people mistakenly think that certain emotions they’re feeling represent love. For example, lust is commonly thought to signify something more than it is. Or, one partner may be so passionate about the other that physical or emotional abuse occurs in the relationship. Neither instance signifies love.
When you love somebody, the feeling transcends the physical. You feel attached to the other person in a way that you don’t feel with others. The level of physical and emotional commitment is greater than with anyone else. And while love translates into intimacy, the willing vulnerability to which you expose yourself to your partner dwarfs that which you experience in all other relationships.
Trust Grows:-
While love can encompass a myriad of qualities, mutual trust is one of the most important. And it expands much further than simply trusting that your partner won’t cheat physically. In this context, it means that you trust your partner implicitly. You trust that he or she will not betray you or the relationship on a physical or emotional level. As your love grows, so too does your level of trust. Eventually, that trust reaches the point at which you’re unable to even conceive of your partner betraying you.
Intimacy Issues:-
Intimacy issues plague many couples. But, it’s important to understand what true intimacy is. And it’s equally important to realize that issues surrounding it don’t necessarily preclude love. For many couples, a lack of physical intimacy may be a problem, though they love and trust each other implicitly. Issues involving emotional intimacy are often more severe. For example, an emotional disconnection can be a warning sign that love is waning. A lack of communication may also represent deeper issues.
Signs That you’re In Love:-
So, how do you know when you’re in love? Unfortunately, it’s often hard to tell because it involves two people so deeply on various physical and emotional levels. That said, there are signs. For example, if your partner is late, your initial reaction may be concern for their safety. Or, you may begin to miss them horribly when they’re away. Also, small things may constantly remind you of your partner.
Enjoying Your Partner:-
A true manifestation of love is found in the level of commitment, trust, physical and emotional intimacy, and mutual attachment that you enjoy with your partner. It’s a confluence of several factors and any one factor does not, in and of itself, represent love. Some claim that loving your partner is more than mere emotion. It is, in effect, a choice that you make. And that choice helps to sustain the relationship during times when any one of the above factors falters.
In the end, falling in love is about enjoying your partner on a level that no other person can hope to experience. It’s about being vulnerable, yet trusting. It’s about sharing yourself physically and emotionally, knowing that the commitment will be reciprocated. Falling in love is a natural progression toward a lifetime with your partner.
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